From my experience confidence and modesty go hand-in-hand. From an early age I developed a lot quicker than the other girls. This meant that I had to worry about my modesty at an earlier age. From the beginning my parents did instill in me a standard of modesty. Some of these standards included not showing my cleavage, not wearing too much make up and making sure that my skirts or dresses were of an appropriate length and my pants fitted correctly. These are standard that I still hold today but they shape my early definition of modesty.
Unfortunately this style also made it seem like I took less pride in my appearance or I didn’t care as much about how I looked. This wasn’t true because I had developed this whole look Because I cared so much about my appearance. But in the wrong way. I wasn’t confident. I wasn’t modest to respect my body, I was modest to hide it. I hadn’t learn to appreciate the body that God gave me. No, this doesn’t mean I’m going to give the whole “your body is a temple” speech. But I am saying that we should be confident in the body we were given.
Once I learned to respect and appreciate my body I became more self confident. I learned how to cover my chest and wear things that made me feel good while still respecting myself. However, Being a teenager made it really difficult to be modest at times. My peers were always wearing short shorts, spaghetti straps, and if we are honest this isn’t solely peer pressure. The world, the fashion industry they all tell us what we should wear, how we should look, they tell us that if we don’t dress the way they tell you then it’s wrong, or ugly. If we are to be truly confident and practice true “Self-love”, then we can’t listen to that, we can’t believe that.
It took me so so long to get to the place of true confidence. Before I met my husband, I was in a toxic relationship. During this time my faith was not supported, my confidence wasn’t boosted. I was made to feel like I had to dress and act the way that someone else wanted, it was devastating. I went from being this girl who loved long sleeves, and skirts to someone who was wearing tank tops and shorts, and what I was told because i was seeking approval. My life was being dictated by someone else.
After meeting my husband, My confidence grew exponentially. It wasn’t even that someone was telling me I was beautiful. I FELT beautiful and confident in my clothes and with my style. and Cole loved me for it! Not only did he also love the way I dressed and looked, he loved my confidence. He didn’t try to change me. Ever since Cole came into my life, he has supported my journey to modesty. Not only supported but encouraged, he tells me i’m beautiful, he see’s a modest outfit in a store that he knows that i’ll love and says things like “Hey hon, this would look great on you!”… “I can see you in this”.
Clothes do not automatically make you confident. However if you feel good in what you wear, the confidence is already there. You don’t have to try so hard. Being confident in the body God gave me was my first true step to my modesty journey and I truly truly hope others can learn to do this too. I hope me sharing my journey can help others.